Date: September 26, 2017
Guest Speaker: Trudy Anne Pelletier, FEA, CEC, Simply More, Inc.
Materials/Resources: Enemies of Communication Handout
When faced with a difficult conversation, most us drag our feet – and in many instances, avoid the tough issues. These conversations consume time, space and energy while impacting the health of the people involved and our relationships. This often makes communication reactionary rather than responsive and deliberate. There is no “real” communication when reaction is in play impacting the listening levels. This session explores ways to identify and control enemies of communication and improve client relationships.
- As human beings, we develop patterns of communication and ways of being that are habitual and most often hidden from our awareness. It is referred to as the “automaticity of being human”, said another way, auto-pilot. Added to the habitual nature of who we are, there are “enemies of communication” inherent for human beings playing out.
- Being self-aware and acknowledging how we react to difficult situations, where and how our prejudices show up, is one of the foundational pieces of increasing one’s ability to effectively communicate in challenging situations. Being self-aware is a moment-to-moment phenomenon as our brain pulls for us to be “unaware”, said another way “asleep” as that is the way it conserves energy.
- The #1 enemy of communication is “knowing”…believing that you already know something, such as what the person speaking will say next, or how the other person will react, or what your response is going to be. You are not fully present and engaged when you are thinking about what you “already know”. For human beings, we live like we know something about everything. This includes knowing “I don’t know about “a certain topic”. When this happens, the brain looks for how the “new/unknown” can be shaped into something we are “familiar with/known”.
- Trudy shares tips everyone can utilize to develop their own personal mastery skills to become more self-aware and deliberately put aside the inherent enemies of communication.
Reading Recommendation: Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott (available on Amazon)
Purposeful Quote: “Communication can resolve anything….the problem is we stop talking. We carry the conversation around in our head consuming time and space or we talk to someone other than the person we need to talk to. These are the missing conversations impacting ourselves and our relationships.” – Unknown